In the survey ….Do you feel safe with Me?…you may have rated highest at 71- 100 or lowest at 20 – 40 leaving one wondering how to strengthen and firm one’s communication with love within a marriage.  Irrespective of your rate…marriage is a ‘living thing’ and thus needs to be continuously addressed for one to enjoy the choicest fruits from one’s marriage.

Darlene Kordic, a biblical counselor, one of the Authors of Where God places two hearts in a home shares Twenty-Five Ways to Communicate Love as one of the ways to smoothen communication and strengthen one’s love in a marriage.

Excerpt from An online Course: Where God puts two hearts in a home

In light of effectiveness in improving communication…here are twenty-five ways which can assist one to communicate loving concern to a spouse.

  1. Find out what his/her heart language is and use it regularly to communicate your concern for your spouse‘s well-being.
  2. Ask your spouse, what demonstrates love to you? and then do it.
  3. Note with appreciation for something your spouse does.
  4. Thank your spouse for specific things (how about….Thank you for the delicious chicken dinner. It had such a great flavor! as opposed to Thanks for cooking).
  5. Once a week, ask your spouse to name one thing that he/she would like to see done around the house and then do it…playful and yet meaningfully done sets an interesting pattern in one’s marriage.
  6. Pray every day with your spouse… for example about issues concerning your marriage, well-being of a family and community.
  7. Tell your spouse frequently that you love him/her both in private and in public.
  8. When your spouse begins to talk to you, stop what you are doing and give him/her your attention.
  1. Learn to know what especially pleases your spouse and be careful to do it often.
  2. Be willing to humble yourself and ask forgiveness when you have been wrong.
  3. Involve the kids in doing special things for your spouse.
  4. Know what pleases your spouse sexually and do it unless it is wrong… questionable practices.
  5. Be attentive to your spouse‘s nonverbal communication.
  6. Do not belittle your spouse‘s opinion.
  7. Ask your spouse‘s advice.
  8. Ask the Lord to help you change in the areas that you know displease your spouse.
  9. Try to develop a hobby that both you and your spouse enjoy doing together.
  10. At least once a year, try to get away overnight, just the two of you.
  11. If it is available, attend a marriage conference with your spouse at least once a year. Perhaps consider planning one in your church.
  12. Plan a day of prayer and reflection each year for your anniversary. Keep a journal that records the highlights and struggles of the past year, as well as next year‘s goals, etc.
  13. If you will be late for a meal or appointment, communicate this change as soon as possible.
  14. Refuse to compare your spouse with others either verbally or in your thoughts.
  15. Cultivate your own relationship with the Lord, so that you can love your spouse with His love.
  16. Do not demand your own way or insist that your way is right.
  17. Be patient with your spouse‘s questions and shortcomings.

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