In the survey ….Do you feel safe with Me?…you may have rated highest at 71- 100 or lowest at 20 – 40 leaving one wondering how to strengthen and firm one’s communication with love within a marriage. Irrespective of your rate…marriage is a ‘living thing’ and thus needs to be continuously addressed for one to enjoy the choicest fruits from one’s marriage.
Darlene Kordic, a biblical counselor, one of the Authors of Where God places two hearts in a home shares Twenty-Five Ways to Communicate Love as one of the ways to smoothen communication and strengthen one’s love in a marriage.
Excerpt from An online Course: Where God puts two hearts in a home
In light of effectiveness in improving communication…here are twenty-five ways which can assist one to communicate loving concern to a spouse.
- Find out what his/her heart language is and use it regularly to communicate your concern for your spouse‘s well-being.
- Ask your spouse, what demonstrates love to you? and then do it.
- Note with appreciation for something your spouse does.
- Thank your spouse for specific things (how about….Thank you for the delicious chicken dinner. It had such a great flavor! as opposed to Thanks for cooking).
- Once a week, ask your spouse to name one thing that he/she would like to see done around the house and then do it…playful and yet meaningfully done sets an interesting pattern in one’s marriage.
- Pray every day with your spouse… for example about issues concerning your marriage, well-being of a family and community.
- Tell your spouse frequently that you love him/her both in private and in public.
- When your spouse begins to talk to you, stop what you are doing and give him/her your attention.
- Learn to know what especially pleases your spouse and be careful to do it often.
- Be willing to humble yourself and ask forgiveness when you have been wrong.
- Involve the kids in doing special things for your spouse.
- Know what pleases your spouse sexually and do it unless it is wrong… questionable practices.
- Be attentive to your spouse‘s nonverbal communication.
- Do not belittle your spouse‘s opinion.
- Ask your spouse‘s advice.
- Ask the Lord to help you change in the areas that you know displease your spouse.
- Try to develop a hobby that both you and your spouse enjoy doing together.
- At least once a year, try to get away overnight, just the two of you.
- If it is available, attend a marriage conference with your spouse at least once a year. Perhaps consider planning one in your church.
- Plan a day of prayer and reflection each year for your anniversary. Keep a journal that records the highlights and struggles of the past year, as well as next year‘s goals, etc.
- If you will be late for a meal or appointment, communicate this change as soon as possible.
- Refuse to compare your spouse with others either verbally or in your thoughts.
- Cultivate your own relationship with the Lord, so that you can love your spouse with His love.
- Do not demand your own way or insist that your way is right.
- Be patient with your spouse‘s questions and shortcomings.