Excerpt from An online Course: Where God puts two hearts in a home
Genesis 2:24 emphasizes the order of beginning a marriage to first leave; then cleave. There is a reason why God commanded “…a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh”. The foundation of a marriage starts when a man leaves his family to make home with his wife. “This marriage relationship usurps the relationship with others as both your closest relationship and your highest loyalty on earth.” When one fails to leave parents or put other relations aside in terms of love and loyalty; one in reality will not have left so as to be united to his spouse.
Cleaving is the other key aspect in marriage which God uses as an important tool in shaping a married person. It is when you are in the process of cleaving to your spouse that one faces their own flaws without being able to sidestep or ignore them. Yes, marriage is a situation that brings out the best and the worst in a person; however, it is a tool that God can use to refine you as a person. If you let God direct, the pressure felt in the process of meshing two different characters into one brings out an improved character and makes you more like Christ (James 1:3-4).
“In fact, God may have designed your spouse‘s rough edges perfectly—to rub abrasively and specifically on your particular rough edges until your gears mesh together smoothly! (Prov 27:17). In order to achieve harmony while cleaving, some people mistakenly try to make their spouses think and behave just like themselves. This is wrong thinking. As someone once said, ―If two people agree on everything, one of them is not necessary! Being identical would defeat God‘s purposes for displaying His character more broadly.
Cleaving does not mean sameness. The different points of view between you and your spouse that sometimes cause conflict do not negate His desire for you to mesh together in intimate unity. You can have that intimate unity only when you relax some of your ―right to be right and respect your spouse‘s right to be different and to think differently from you.
When you allow his/her differing point of view to affect your own perspective, then you can experience the complementary strength that God intended for marriage. The permanence God designed in marriage means that there is no quick escape from this uncomfortable, but important sanctifying and growing process.”
Many couples would wish the process of leave and cleave would happens in a short span; however, God in his wisdom gave a couple a lifetime to discover and enjoy each other. Some of the areas where a couple needs to leave and cleave to each other are:- physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally and financially so as to fully appreciate and enjoy marriage as it was initially planned to be by God.