To enjoy one’s marriage, communication between husband and wife has to be open and honest.   When there are no walls between you and your spouse, you should be able to enjoy talking and spending time together. As one grows to enjoy openness in a marriage; one needs to guard and cultivate this unhindered flow of communication, so that the walls do not ever grow again between you.

How would you rate your communication with your spouse?

 Excerpt from An online Course: Where God puts two hearts in a home

Ask your spouse to complete this survey and return it to you for scoring.

(If that is not possible, complete this survey as if you were your spouse as it relates to your relationship with him/her. How would your spouse answer these questions?)

 Use this scale: 1=never ———————-3=sometimes———————-5=often

  1. _________ My spouse thinks that I am an interesting, exciting person to be around.
  2. _________ My spouse doesn‘t judge or criticize me.
  3. _________ My spouse rarely blames me when he/she is offended or when his/her             feelings have been hurt.
  4. _________ My spouse doesn’t expect me to be his/her main source of love and fulfillment.
  5. _________ I am not afraid to open up and share my deepest feelings, suggestions, and needs with my spouse.
  6. _________ My spouse is concerned about every area of my life.
  7. _________ My spouse makes my needs a high priority.
  8. _________ I feel at ease and relaxed when spending time with my spouse.
  9. _________ My spouse respects my opinions, ideas, concerns, expectations, feelings, and needs.
  10. _________ My spouse values me as physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually unique.
  11. _________ I trust my spouse‘s words and actions.
  12. _________ My spouse gives me a sense of equality in our relationship.
  13. _________My spouse‘s humor never turns to sarcasm that makes me feel uncomfortable.
  14. _________My spouse praises me often for what I say and do.
  15. _________ My spouse says ―I‘m sorry‖ and asks for forgiveness whenever it is needed.
  16. _________ My spouse controls his/her anger so that I don‘t ever feel afraid.
  17. _________ My spouse is very good at partnering with me to find solutions to mutual problems or disagreements.
  18. _________ My spouse sees us as a team together.
  19. _________ My spouse works hard to have a loving and fulfilling relationship.
  20. _________ My spouse readily forgives me, if I offend him/her.

If your spouse asked you to take this survey, please return it to him/her now.

Scoring should be completed by the spouse being discussed in the survey, not the spouse who completed the survey.

Add up all the answers together to get a grand total.

The indicators of the Scoring are:

71–100 Your spouse feels safe with you.

41–70 You need improvement for your spouse to feel safe with you.

20–40 Your spouse feels very unsafe with you.

What will you do about your score?

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